I still remember the exact moment that I realized this principle. I had been living in Singapore and Malaysia for about a year and half, when my friend (an American born Chinese or A.B.C.) and I went to a small party with about 10 to 15, Singaporean’s and Mainland Chinese. The party started as any good party normally starts, with lots of FOOD…!!! After enjoying a great meal together we proceeded to play a series of little games. As the night went on I started to notice that everyone around me was laughing uncontrollably, everyone but ME! I understood what they were saying, but I just didn’t think that it was funny… so I wasn’t laughing… and it really hit me at that moment that I just didn’t fit in.

By this time I thought that Mandarin was pretty good. I had worked very very hard over the last year and a half to learn all I could. But when it came to a couple fairly simple jokes and games I just wasn’t grasping what was happening. At this point I began to understand that learning a language isn’t just about words and sentences that is a robot or computer’s job. I definitely am not a computer or a robot that just spouted words and phrases! I am a PERSON with feelings, and emotion that can COMMUNICATE with others! And if I was going to communicate with Chinese people I would need to change and seek to understand the culture more fully…laugh when they laugh and cry when they cry.

I wish I could say that after making this descision I immediately started laughing at all the joke’s that I heard while also creating a whole bunch of my own, but that hasn’t been the case; it hasn’t been easy. Now, it has almost been 6 years since I came to that realization. I still have the occasional thing that goes right over my head, but for the most part I feel like a fit in.

Now you’re probably saying to yourself, “how do I change what I think is funny?” The answer is that you’re not changing what you think is funny, you are just adding to it. There’s no need for you to change who you are. It is just the act of opening up your mind and heart and accepting more, and over time it will happen!!!

Added Pointers:

If you are a people watcher: watch people! see how they tell jokes, what they are laughing at…and over time you will naturally do the same things.

If you like movies: try watching a couple classic Chinese comedies…Zhou Xingchi (Stephen Chow) is by far the most famous Chinese comedy director! A couple of his movies that have made it to American soil are “Shaolin Soccer” and “Kungfu Hustle”

If you like to read: look at jokes on line and pick some out, learn them and start telling them and see what kind of reaction you get.

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